You know you’re a new mom…

1. When all of your clothing has a puke spot on it - "baby badge"
2. When you rock in place regardless of whether you're holding your baby or not.
3. When a daily shower is an accomplishment :)
4. When you take 24hrs to write one email, 
5. When you brush your teeth at midnight for the first time
6. When you check on a sleeping baby 3 times while making a sandwich
7. When you feel like all u can eat buffet, because your baby wants to breastfeed every 40 min 
8. When u have to wipe off lanolin u just put on, because baby is hungry again!
9. When you realize how awful tv programming is at 2:45 am yet you're starting to know, word for word, the selling points of every infomercial out there...
10. When you realize that the facial feature you always hated on yourself is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen on your baby's face
11.  When you're late to everything because it takes three times as long to get ready. Once you're finally ready, baby needs fed, changed, or both all over again!
12.  When you want to strangle your husband for crunching too loudly on a potato chip after you just spent 45 minutes rocking your baby to sleep
13.  When you want to strangle your husband for turning on the light in the morning so he can get ready for work.
14.  When you have to choose: eat or sleep
15.  When you have absolutely NO sympathy for your significant others headache, backache, or so called "lack of sleep last night"
16.  When you spend most of the time with the telephone unplugged and your cell phone on vibrate and never return phone calls
17.  When you can't remember the last time you shaved your legs - but it wasn't recently!!!
18.  When you get all dressed up to go to the grocery store because getting out of the house is rare
19.  When you smell like spoiled milk most of the time
20.  When you make up songs in your head to go with the rhythm of your breast pump pumping
21.  When you fantasize more about uninterrupted sleep than being intimate with your significant other
22.  When you count a good day as when you actually dress in clothes that match and don't contain sleepwear or sweats
23.  When you can fall into a half-sleep, even start having a dream, but your arm keeps moving to burp the baby. 
24.  When your baby wakes you up and you think you've just slept for at least a couple of hours, and it's been.....7 minutes.
25.  When you find out you can do anything one handed
26.  When you sit there with your boob hanging all out because the baby nursed and settled and looked so peaceful you didn't want to wake her to move
27.  When you bathe another human being more frequently than you bathe yourself.
28.  When you are wide awake at 2 a.m. … and sleeping at 2 p.m.
29.  When you do at least one load of laundry every day—and none of the clothes are yours. 
30.  When you check to make sure your little one is breathing with neurotic consistency
31.  When you have supersonic hearing—what I like to call “bat ear”—that allows you to hear your baby’s softest whimper … even while standing under the shower.
32.  When You know the schedule of every television program by heart. And, you’re tired of them all.
33.  When you try on your old jeans to see if maybe, just maybe, they’d fit. They only get halfway up your thigh. You cry. Your baby joins you. 
34.  When Your definition of happiness is being able to put on deodorant and brush your teeth before lunch time.
35.  When you consider making it out the front door and into the “real world”—even if it’s just for a five-minute walk—a monumental achievement.
36.  When you drink enough water every day to make the Garden of Eden grow in the Sahara desert. 
37.  When you can leave home forgetting your earrings, makeup and wallet but never with less than three changes of clothes for your little one.
38.  When you take at least a dozen pictures of your baby every day in the same pose, with the same expression, but you can’t bear to delete any of them. 
39.  When Your Facebook updates are no longer about you
40.  When You no longer wear white
41.  When Most of your Facebook pictures are of your baby and not of you “modeling.”
42.  When you and your husband only make skin contact for 5 mins every few days. Sometimes just an arm or a leg...toe...
43.  When You realize there is something more important in this world than you.