Saturday, June 30, 2012

Our Own Rules

I wanted to share this article from Offbeatmama.com because it's pretty much how our parenting style is. I'm not one of those mom's that has her kid on strict schedule. Eat at this certain time; play at this certain time; sleep at this certain time. We kind of let Coen tell us what he's ready for, if he's sleepy...obviously it's time for bed. If he's hungry...obviously it's time to eat.  I have relaxed rules. I have Coen in bed between 8-9. He usually wakes up around midnight to eat and will end up in the bed with us. Sometimes I put him back in the crib and sometimes I don't. I know around what time he gets hungry and when he just wants to put crap in his mouth. I can't live around that type of scheduling let alone schedule every waking moment of my kid's life. He's a kid. Let him be a kid.  When he's at an age that he is forced to adhere to being controlled by a clock, we will handle it. Right now...we're just playing it by ear. It is more relaxing...for everybody.



Last night, my four-and-a-half-month-old daughter slept in her crib for the first time. This was huge — not because co-sleeping isn't working for us, and not because I even think that it's so important that she can sleep in her crib. This was huge because it reminded me how making decisions as a parent works for me.

We've been co-sleeping since our daughter was born, and it has worked beautifully for us. On her own terms (touching me, preferably with a boob in her mouth), Nitsah is a wonderful sleeper — even adjusting with ease to a seven-hour time difference when I visited my family in the US when she was two months old. Not on her own terms — well, we got a taste of that each time we took Nitsah in the car and she was not within reach of my boob (and sometimes not even within reach of me). As my niece eloquently put it, "She's roaring."

At the same time, we always knew that we didn't want to co-sleep forever — at least in theory. In practice, I kept putting off deadlines to try out The Crib. We'd wait until after my trip to America; after all, we'd have to cosleep there. We'd wait until she was four months old. Until six months. Maybe longer. Secretly, I began to feel terror at the prospect. I didn't want bedtime to be like a car trip — I didn't want to watch her scream, staring at me with quivering disbelief that I wouldn't just give her a boob and unbuckle her already. Even when she fell asleep in the carseat, she would wake up the moment the car stopped. In bed, too, she would usually wake up seconds after I moved away from her.

Doing research online wasn't comforting. Everything I read started with the suggestion to put the baby in her crib for naps. Nitsah was happy to play in her crib during the day, pushing herself off the rungs like monkey bars, but sleeping there? ALONE? No way.

Co-sleeping began to feel not like a beautiful choice but like something I did because I had no other choice. It also seemed to shunt me into a parenting orthodoxy — even though nothing I read sounded exactly right for us long term, when it came to sleep it seemed like I had to be 100% attachment parenting or 100% cry-it-out, with no middle ground (unless I had a baby who would simply go to sleep when set down in a crib, which I certainly did not), and with both camps persuaded I would maim my child if I did anything other than what they proscribed.

Then, as I was getting ready for bed, I put Nitsah down in the crib and was about to go brush my teeth when I looked down at her. She was rolling around, smiling happily at her beer coaster mobile and then at me. Not one bit sleepy, but not one bit desperate or unhappy, either. I reached a sudden decision. We were having a sleepover. Here, in her nursery, where she had never slept for even a minute. Without a system, without a plan beyond this one night, without a parenting guide to tell me whether to let her cry or pick her up.

So I nursed her to sleep as we rocked in the rocking chair (also almost unused), telling her a long story. At 11 PM, when she was soundly asleep, I carefully put her down in the crib… and she stayed asleep! I stepped back, stunned this had been so easy. At 11:07 she woke up crying. I settled down on the daybed with the good book I've been trying to read for the past month, and nursed her back to sleep. I tried put her back in the crib, but she started crying instantly. I picked her back up. No rules.

Then she slept — for three whole hours. I know because I watched them all… apparently, I'm the one who can't fall asleep without nursing.

The rest of the night passed smoothly. When she started to get restless, I rested my free hand on her head, and she would relax again. I read several chapters in Middlesex, by Jeffery Eugenides, with What to Expect Your Baby's First Year and The Baby Book by Dr. Sears safely lodged away in the office bookshelf. When Nitsah eventually woke up and wanted to nurse, I took her out of the crib and nursed her. When I put her back in, warm and content, she didn't even wake up. That time, I even slept a bit. About two hours later she woke up again, and this time I took her into bed with me, and that was fine, too.

I don't know if Nitsah will sleep in her crib regularly from now on. I don't even know if I'll put her to sleep in it tonight. I don't know when she will sleep through the night, and I don't care, so long as we are both well-rested and happy. What I know now, though, is that we can navigate our sleep choices the way we've navigated everything else as parents. We can experiment. We can be inconsistent at times as we figure out what we want to be consistent about. I can go with my gut, but that doesn't mean that I should let fear control me. The crib is now an option, not an ultimatum.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Born Day

"Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh....You say it's your birthday! Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh...It's my birthday too!"
(Name that movie!)

I am 27 today. Doesn't feel too different since I"ve been saying i'm 27 for that past month anyway. I was a little sad this year. I'm not sure why. Birthdays and New Years just remind me of time passed that you can never have back and I get this uncontrollable depression. I got over it though once Mike came home. I was just feeling lonely and let my thoughts take over me. What can I say..sometimes I get weird.

Yesterday I went to Adobo's with my parents and reaffirmed my love for Puerto Rican Food. I came home and at midnight Mike showered me with gifts. A new backpack for all of my school crap, lots of goodies to snack on (because I never eat) and the best part...Tickets to see AL Green on July 27th!! Woooot! Can't wait for that.

Today (early in the day) I went to Layton Surf N Swim with Coen and some friends. Coen was loving it. The water was so warm and it was relaxing for me.Then we went home and took a bath and waited for Mike to get home. When Mike got home we went to the Drive-In to see Snow White and The Huntsman and That's My Boy. Coen was a saint. It was a good day and I'm really just feeling blessed to have made it through another year of life.

I am grateful for so many things.I am grateful for our little condo that we have turned into our little home. I'm grateful for school and being able to go back. I"m grateful to friends that are teaching me new things (Making cakes) and pushing me to keep myself healthy (5k races.) I'm am grateful for my family, for parents I can actually enjoy talking to. For siblings that are growing up and making me feel even older :) I'm grateful to have a wonderful, loving man to come home to everyday. That loves me unconditionally. Love me when i'm ugly, when i'm pretty, when i'm sick, when I haven't showered, when I am not loveable, when i'm mad for no reason at all; a man that doesn't have baby mamas; that I can trust and hang out with every single day and still miss him when he's gone for 5 minutes. Also for a beautiful little boy that just lights up when I come into the room (I'd like to think its me and not the milk), is so content and happy and smart and makes me feel like i'm a better person than I really am. I want nothing more than to spend my day with these amazing people that make every day that I'm alive, feel special.


Rockin my new birthday hat
Dinner with my papa
Raspberries on Coens cheeks
(headin to surf n swim)

My "everyday" gift.


Monday, June 18, 2012

8 months

My lil love is 8 months old today and I cannot keep up! This kid is all over the dang place. He's crawling like nobody's business. Mama and Dadda are his favorite words. Mama when's he's especially desperate. He's holding himself up in the standing position without assistance, which led us to lower his bed. He's eating baby "puffs" and chewing, not choking. He's picking things up with his thumb and index finger. Drinking from a cup a little. He's losing weight and his hair is getting darker and fuller. He's getting that "attachment" syndrome where I can't leave the room for 5 seconds without him screaming, but it's all good. He broke his infant carseat and will be upgrading to a big boy seat soon. He's in 12 month clothes now but he's still short as ever. Still not sleeping completely through the night, but I blame that on the booby. 8 months, oh boy!




Meeting one of my besties, visiting from Texas and her son
(he's 2...Coen is huge in comparison)



At my cousin Zeke's Graduation with
his uncle and cousins







Loves cousin Ari


steady now....











Sunday, June 17, 2012

I am your Fahja...

Daddy's day! I am such a Daddy's girl, but it's not my fault...I was actually born on Father's Day. My hubby also got to celebrate this year. (Although I did get him a drill last year...) I got Mike some relaxing stuff. A bath book caddy thing and a legit bath pillow (we've popped about 4 of them from the dollar store). He has adopted my habit of taking baths to unwind and he likes to read at the same time, so this was perfect.



We BBQ'd with my Father-in-law in the afternoon and then took my Dad to eat for dinner. I've been dying to take my dad to this Puerto Rican restaurant called Adobos, but it's an hour away. Well, I"ve been craving it and so has Mike so we figured what better time? We all win! Well since we live in the lovely state of Utah...it was friggin closed. I was crushed. Well we went to Good Wood instead (delicious BBQ that isn't ridiculously overpriced). We promised to get together at Adobos the next day for Father's Day/Birthday celebration.My Dad has truly shaped me into the person I am today. He has made me strong. I made him a card with a bunch of sweet memories I have of us together.
Dad,
You taught me how to tie my shoes, to ride a bike,about jazz and blues. You gave me boxing lessons in the kitchen and cooking lessons too. You scared away all the boys and made the street lights a sign of curfew. You taught me how to shoot a basketball and perfected my golf swing. You tolerated my tattoos and piercings and even my nose ring. You were patient when I learned how to drive and laughed when I got suspended from school.You told me I'd be fine, when I packed and moved away. You reminded me that I could always come home and I'd have a place to stay. You listened to me cry when things didn't go so well. You tell me to stay strong, move on and tell everybody else to "go to hell." :)  You watched me fall in love, become a wife and a mom and the time between visits seems like too long, But no matter what I'm doing or how old I get; I' will never too busy...to tell you thank-you and that I love you and that  I'll always be your lil Chrissy! Happy Father's Day Papa!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Recent Adventures

Forgive me for being absent for the last few weeks, but school is kicking my ass. Seems like I've been eating, sleeping, and breathing history everyday and trying to squeeze in my English homework in between. I'm trying hard not to think about the fact that I still have like 3 years of school ahead of me. Ugh! Give me strength! I think I have decided, however, to stick with my initial plan of going into communications/journalism. Now that i'm back in the swing or writing, I've remembered just how much I love it. But, I digress

When I'm absolutely sick of having my face smashed into a book and my brain is buzzing with historical dates and facts about Abraham Lincoln and the Civil war; I stop, open my curtains, take a deep breath and look outside. It has been B-E-A-Utiful lately. Which only aids in my short attention span and makes me feel like the walls are closing in around me after hours of studying. This has turned into little weekend excursions with "the boy" and a much needed break for me to just take in the world and think about nothing. Clear my head.

PhotoBomb: 

Hiking at Waterfall Canyon in Ogden














First time with Coen at Roy Aquatic Center







Me and my nieces












He loved it!







Sunday, June 3, 2012

Sunday Confession

I have had 6 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, due to graduation, procrastination, homework, no motivation, work, poop, ADD and did I mention procrastination?

This pretty much sums up my week

P.S. This is why I loathe disposable diapers.