Sunday Confession

I cried for my son for the first time.

I don't think I even cried when he was born. I was so groggy and out-of-it I barely remember my first time holding him. But he's been so sick the past 2 weeks and the past few days were just awful. I took him to the doctor once and they told me, "Oh, he's fine. Just a normal cold." So I proceeded with the "snot-sucker" and the humidifier and endured the sound of his nasty cough night after night.  Finally it all came to a head the other night. He would not eat, or open his eyes or sleep unless we held him. You ever gone to sleep sitting up? Not easy. The next afternoon, exhausted and worried we took him to the hospital.

We arrived at 1 pm. There were maybe 5 people ahead of us...we weren't seen until 3:30!! My poor boy was snot faced and weezy and tired. And I was tired, hungry, and to top it off I was "leaking" through my t-shirt because I was in such a hurry to get him there that I ran out of the house without thinking twice. I was just so annoyed that I didn't even care that anybody saw.  As the receptionist popped in another movie our name was finally called.

 We sat in the exam room for another 20 minutes. Coen just cried and cried and cried. I was so exhausted and pissed that I just started crying. Now, if you know me...you know i'm not much of a crier. I was at my wits end though.I felt pretty silly right after and tried the whole hold-your-eyelid-open-really-wide-so-it-doesn't-look-like-you're-crying-trick. Pretty sure it didn't work, but whatever. I was done! Finally the Dr. came in and he was actually pretty nice. Turns out Coen had an ear infection in both ears. We were sent home after a 10 minute exam with Amoxcicillan and further disdain for the medical system.